For the past few months (years/life) I wasn’t 100% happy. I wasn’t completely aligned to my soul purpose and felt I was living someone else’s life. A life that consisted of past decisions and beliefs made from fear, ego, conditioning, wanting to fit in with others, and worrying what other people think. Unfortunately this is quite common and describes most people’s lives.
Some areas of my life were in sync and moving along with flow, radiance, and grace yet other areas involved me experiencing an internal struggle and resistance. The goals and needs that were identified when I was living from ego and fear that I was now playing out, no longer resonated.
The struggle was real and it had to end. I had come to too far to continue living like this.
After having a spiritual awakening in May 2017 the path to my soul purpose became clear and the action that needed to be taken. However, my current life was not supporting that so it needed to change in a BIG way.
So the universe (my soul) took charge by literally booting me out of LA. Living in a big, expensive city (especially on the beach) requires a consistent earning of a shit load of money just to pay rent and cover basic living costs. My part-time marketing work that was supporting me (and killing my soul) stopped coming and my US savings were draining. Once I was down to my last $1000 and with no work on the horizon, I knew it was time to leave and tap into my investment money in Australia, I put aside for my business. It was time to follow a dream and focus on my soul passion in a warm, exotic location that does not cost a fortune to live in.
What was working:
Meditation practice
Through my morning beach visits each day, I was able to consistently practice an empowering meditation technique called Soul Talk. A technique I intuitively created after my spiritual awakening, where I was able to feel the qualities of my soul and create a solid dialogue with my soul.
This dialogue allowed me to receive clear answers to all my questions and was intuitively guiding my path forward. It had even profoundly changed the way I worked. While doing design and copywriting for myself or clients I was able to sit on the beach and directly channel all the words and layouts that were needed instead of using my logic and brain to come up with everything on a computer. I literally began working on the beach with a notepad. I was consistently able to tap into my creative flow and had a solid and consistent communication with my intuition throughout the day. I felt compelled to share this lifestyle with others through my stories and lifestyle and business courses and coaching. I was also thriving at teaching Soul Talk Meditation on the beach with consistently positive feedback.
What appeared to be working
Triathlons
I was back training for triathlons after a 4-year hiatus due to constant injuries. Injuries caused by not having a strong core and being able to maintain an aligned body position. Injuries caused by smaller muscles having to over work as the larger muscles (glutes and core) were not staying activated. After years of frustration and wanting to train I was back up to my fast running speed of sub 4.50min kms/8 min miles. I was fast and strong on the bike again and swimming – well lets just say I could easily swim a few kms/miles even if I was the last one out the water.
Underneath being pleased that I was back training and enjoying the people I was exercising with, I felt my ego coming up back to create a ‘competitive spirit’ which is how I got most of my injuries in the past. There was also a part of me that wanted to rest more and with triathlons rest is rare and the body takes an ongoing pounding.
Although I finally made it on the podium like I always wanted to my body now feels like taking things slow. My runs have slowed down so I can breathe and enjoy what I’m doing (which was impossible for me to get that fast race speed).
Relationship
It was one of my main priorities, along with career, to find a solid man that I could have a family with. What I found was a solid, secure, loving, kind-hearted man who also loved triathlons and wanted a family. A man I loved with all my heart and that my head wanted nothing more than to settle down with and have a family. However, my intuition was telling me strongly I still have work to do before this could happen. Work in the form of spiritual advancement, self-love and creating happiness from within.
What I learned was just because someone has some of the qualities and attitudes you seek (kindness, positivity, stableness) it doesn’t mean you will automatically embody them, it takes reprogramming and work. So I had to make one of the most painful decisions in my life and leave a good man that I loved in order to continue my personal growth alone, as I knew that was the only way.
What clearly wasn’t working
Slavery (work)
In the paradigm that I had been living in and that most people in big expensive cities like Los Angeles, Sydney, London, San Francisco etc face is, you need to make A LOT of money just to cover your living expenses, then you can think of other things to add into your life.
Unfortunately most people become slaves working jobs that make them miserable just so they can pay their bills and live a life they thought they wanted. When they have time off they are usually stressed, find it hard to relax, and feel out of alignment with their soul.
Although my experience was not this extreme as I was a consultant working part-time, I did feel that I had to do work that didn’t feel in alignment in order to just cover basic expenses like rent, health insurance, car insurance etc. Then I could think about shopping at Wholefoods, saving and enjoying other activities. Although it may not seem like a lot working part-time doing something you don’t 100% enjoy, it was draining my energy to do things that were in alignment with my soul purpose. By holding on to this work I felt I was operating out of fear not trust of being supported doing something I love.
To make it harder, I was working in an old paradigm and system that I no longer believed in – the traditional ego way of marketing. What I found to work instead was taking a more intuitive approach and tapping into your creative flow to create success as an entrepreneur or business owner. I was still in the process of educating client’s why this way worked and although I was leading a lot of intuitive business foundation sessions with entrepreneurs, my primary income was coming from companies that wanted things done the traditional way. Being forced to do work that was not in alignment JUST to pay rent literally made me feel like a slave. I was like a hamster stuck on a wheel and it was draining my energy to do what made my heart sing – write, speak, teach meditation, design, and intuitive lifestyle and business coaching.
Will I go back to live in LA? I would like to if I can work out how to live there while doing work that is in alignment with my soul purpose. Where will I go after Tulum? Probably Costa Rica.
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